The Day You Came Back
by YetAnotherFan2010
Summary: Jasper comes back home after 4 years away. Slash. One Shot. E/J


_This is my first attempt at writing a one shot. I never realized how difficult it is to tell a story in so few words. I hope you like it :)_

**THE DAY YOU CAME BACK**

"Honey, did you hear me?"

The walls of our living room seem to be closing in on me. The light becomes blinding. The couch under me seems to swallow me whole.

Her words echo like thunder. They are deafening and making my insides shudder.

The question is repeated again, louder and with more concern. This time, my fingers clutch painfully into my thighs in an attempt to not pull my hair off.

I'm trying to not overreact. I'm trying to not panic. But my body feels like lead, the shock of the news firing up my senses.

_Fuck. _

I'm panicking. I'm really, completely, freaking out. I feel my whole body shake, agitation building up on the inside, as I stare back at my wife, completely stunned and speechless.

She walks to me and softly caresses my cheek with the back of her hand. I blink once and focus on her touch. It feels soft like comfort.

I inhale and meet her concerned gaze. I force myself to smile. I don't want her to worry. She always worries too much.

"So he… he just decided to come back? Just like that?" I try to hide any emotions as I ask her about him. Whatever I'm feeling right now doesn't make any sense anyway. Because, really, there is no reason for me to feel any of this jumble in my stomach.

"Why now? How dare he just reappears after all this time?"

I know Bella hear the bitterness in my voice. She knows Jasper's sudden departure right before our wedding had been hard on me. But she doesn't know why. And I hope she can't discern any of the other emotions that are boiling in me. Because, really, I don't even understand them myself.

In one swift, nervous movement, I get up and walk towards the kitchen. I start setting the table for dinner. I need to be busy. There's a weird energy running through me.

Bella watches me as I move around.

"Rose was shocked to find him on her doorstep." She continues to inform me.

I nod as I go to the fridge.

"Well, yeah, it's been like… what? Four years?" I reply dryly.

It's been four years and seven months to be exact since he left.

Bella picks up Nessie who's playing on the floor and places her in the highchair.

"Yeah. Four. But now he's back, and Rose sounds really happy about it. He's her only blood family. She loves him."

I try to swallow but something is stuck. I feel weird. I avoid Bella's gaze and sit next to my little princess. Nessie's my whole world, and her proximity reminds me of what matters in life.

So I don't think about all the maybe's, and the could've and should've. I don't think about what my life would've been if I had been honest with myself all these years back.

My baby girl looks up at me with her big eyes and I feel my heart squeeze with so much love. And I know that I can't regret anything. Because Nessie is all I want.

I kiss her rosy cheek and keep my eyes on my daughter as I finally reply.

"So I suppose Rosie is planning something for her only brother's homecoming?"

Bella rolls her eyes at my tone of voice. She puts Nessie's bib on and then replies.

"A dinner Friday night. Everybody's invited."

I ignore the fact that my heart pounds faster than usual. Instead, I start to feed my beautiful baby girl and concentrate solely on her.

_/the*day*you*came*back/_

It's Friday night and I think I have a stomach flu. I feel nauseous and sweaty. I want to tell Bella that she should go to the dinner without me. I want to tell her I'm sick.

But I stay quiet and pretend I'm fine. Because the days since I found out he was back, Bella has been looking at me strangely. I try to act the same as usual, but we are both awkward together now and we both know something is off.

So I sit and try to regulate my breathing while Bella gives last minute instructions to Jacob, who's been kind enough to look after Nessie for us tonight. And I pretend that I'm feeling completely well, and normal.

Once in the car, Bella turns to me. I keep my eyes on the road as I feel her examining me. I try to keep my calm and act natural.

"Is everything okay?" she finally asks.

I keep my eyes on the road. "Yes. Why?"

I dread her answer. She stays quiet for too long, her searching eyes roaming over me. I want to tug at my hair but I don't want to do any sudden movement. I don't want to give her any proof that she's right. So I keep both hands on the wheel.

"You're tense. And quiet."

I shrug.

"I don't feel any different. Maybe a little tired. It was a long week."

She nods her head faintly and stares out the window.

"I'm excited to see Jazzy again. I wonder if he's changed at all." She wonders out loud, her gaze still staring outdoor.

My heart skips a few beat and I fist the wheel firmly to stay in control. I can't find any reply that wouldn't betray me. So I stay shut.

The rest of the ride is silent and uncomfortable.

I pull into Rosalie and Emmett's driveway and park behind Peter's car.

We walk to the front door without another word. But I can't worry about us right now, because my mind is already too busy pondering on what I should say and how I should act once I'll be face to face with Jasper again.

I stare at the door and Bella rings the bell. My pulse tries to outdo the tempo of the ring. I wonder if I still have time to excuse myself, letting her know I'm sick. I dry my sweaty hands on my pants as I hear loud voices on the other side of the door. I inhale deeply, hoping that it will help my chest expand, because right now I can't breathe easily.

The door opens and Rosalie is beaming at us, a glass of white wine in her hand. She greets us, and looks utterly radiant with happiness. She kisses me on the cheek, informing me that the guys are in the living room, before pulling Bella towards the kitchen, already chatting away.

I gingerly enter and close the door behind me. I hear the booming voice of Emmett and I follow the sound. He's sitting on the couch, a beer in hand, conversing loudly with Garrett.

They both greet me warmly as I join them. My gaze is still searching around though.

"Peter and Jaz are upstairs. He wanted to show Pete something." Emmett informs me, as if I asked him where he was out loud.

"And all the ladies are in the kitchen," Garrett adds.

I smile and sit down on a chair across from them. They resume their conversation and I try, really try, to concentrate on what they are saying. But I keep on listening closely to every noise in the house. I feel on edge, my stupid heart jumping at any little crackle, afraid that it would be Jasper coming down the stairs.

After a while, I get up and tell the boys I'm going to grab a beer. They both ask me to bring them some too. When I get in the kitchen, I go say hi to Kate and Alice. The girls are talking and laughing with animation. Bella glances my way and she looks sad, even while smiling. I give her a small, tight smile. I feel shitty about the way I've been acting towards her this last week.

I head to the fridge and grab the three beers. Then I make my way to the living room and suddenly, here he is. Peter and him have just stepped down the stairs and the three of us are now standing in the hallway. There's a second of awkwardness before Peter breaks the silence, talking fast and with excitement.

"Can you fucking believe it, Eddie? I really didn't think it was true when Em told me he was back. Isn't it amazing! We gotta make him pay for bailing on us for four fucking years though!" He play-punches Jasper as he finishes his sentence.

It's hard to listen to Peter when my heart is pounding in my ears. My eyes fall on him. Because it's like magnet. And even though I'm completely afraid to look at him, I have no choice. And he's looking back at me. His stare is really deep, and unwavering. The blue of his eyes seem darker, dimmer. I feel trapped and my stomachache increases.

And then, there's a deafening silence. My brain can't take anything else in because the intensity of our locked eyes is too big. It's too strong. So it seems like everything else fades away as we stare at each other.

But just as quickly, the moment is broken. All the girls are here, bringing snacks and more drinks towards the living room.

"Hey boys, why are you all standing in the hallway?" Rose asks as she slithers between us and goes to the living room, Kate following her.

"Jaz, hi," I hear the sweet voice of my wife, and I feel sick. "It's so nice to see you again."

Jasper turns away from me to face her with a smile. It's his ordinary, polite smile that still charms everybody. But I know this smile isn't real. And I feel sick again. I quickly make my escape and go join the others. But I still overhear Jasper and my wife as they exchange polite pleasantries. I ignore the uncomfortable twinge in my guts.

I settle down on the same chair as before. Rosalie is sitting on Emmett's lap now and Kate is next to Garrett, who's complimenting her on her guacamole. I hand the guys their beers and I hurry to open mine. I take a few long gulps.

Bella, Alice and Peter appear. Peter and Alice take over the loveseat, and he automatically wraps his arms around his fiancée. Bella pulls a chair next to me.

"Where's the man of the hour?" Emmett asks.

"Went to take a piss," Peter answers. "Rose, did Jaz make you listen to his stuff? It's real good."

"Yeah, Em and I listened to it the other day," she beams. "I've always said that my baby brother was talented."

I quickly finish my beer and get up. I'm too antsy to sit and wait for him to join us.

"Anyone need anything from the kitchen?"

After a few orders from my friends, I rush out of the room. My hand automatically weaves its way to my hair as I try to shake away the bad energy flowing through my veins.

I halt as soon as I enter the kitchen. Every single thought in my head disappears at the sight. All of that unnerving energy boils away and my blood rushes to my groin. It's instantaneous. It's instinctive.

I stay frozen in place, my eyes ogling his Jeans-clad derriere as he searches for something in the fridge.

But, abruptly, he stands and turns around. As if he knows I'm behind him.

And we are once again face-to-face. And once again, the moment is too big, too strong, for me. I want to look away but I can't. So we stay silent, lost in each other. I feel myself being pulled in the depth of his stare. And then suddenly I feel again. And there are so many emotions mixing up together, it's overwhelming. I feel the loss and the anger. I feel the need and the lust and the joy. I feel the shame and the guilt. I feel the rejection. And it's too much. Everything is just too much. Suddenly, there's an unbearable tightness in my chest and I can feel wetness gathering in my eyes. I blink quickly, chasing any hint of my meltdown away. I look at the floor and my fingers easily find their way back in my hair, tugging hard with discomfort.

Nothing else happens for a long minute. I know he's still watching me. I can feel his eyes. And then he finally moves away and I'm grateful he doesn't say anything. I hear the sound of glass against marble near the kitchen counter and then the sound of liquid being poured in.

I take a shaky inhale and walk with difficulty, my eyes consciously avoiding him. I open the fridge and grab the beers and the bottle of Pino Grigio as fast as possible so I can get away from this heavy tension. I want to leave this room, and all of its discomfort. As I turn toward the door, I instinctively peek his way. He places his empty shot glass on the counter and reaches for the whiskey bottle again. He pours himself some more as he watches me sternly. He looks sad and tired at this moment. He glances down to my full hands and smirks.

"If you're trying to get drunk, maybe you should switch to something stronger." These are the first words he says to me in four years and seven months.

"Are you trying to get drunk?" I retort.

He shrugs and throws the alcohol into his awaiting mouth. I can't stop myself from watching him swallow. I swallow hard too with desire. Swiftly, I rush out and go back to the others.

I open my beer and drain it.

Jasper finally joins us, and sits on the couch next to his sister and brother-in-law. Quickly, the conversation shifts towards him and everybody's asking him questions.

I stay quiet and play with the beer label on my bottle. Nobody notices. I keep my eyes averted from him, but I still relish in the sound of his deep voice. I listen carefully to every little detail he's willing to share about his life away.

I feel like I'm back in high school with the way my body reacts so eagerly to him. And that mixture of craving and fear is exactly the same as back in the days. So I try to avoid him and keep to myself for fear of being discovered just like before.

"I can't believe you, man!" Peter exclaims in awe. "A fucking lead singer in a band! That's the life!"

Jasper smiles but it doesn't reach his eyes. "Yeah, it's fun. Great way to travel around, earn some money and make cool friends."

"And meeting a bunch of chicks!" Emmett guffaws. "Man, you must've been getting laid all the time."

I can't help it. I look up at him. He blushes faintly but keeps his cool.

"Well, bro, it's definitely an easy way to meet people, and somehow, they always seem eager to please the lead singer."

"That's what I'm talking about!" Peter quips suggestively, before giving a high-five to Emmett and Garrett. "Man, I can't believe you're the same ladies-man as before!"

Jasper's eyes flicker to me and I flinch, immediately looking down. My chest feels tight, compressing a little too hard against my erratic heart.

And I can't stop the image of him and Maria that night during senior year when I walked on them having sex. It had been devastating. And that's the night I left with Bella, losing my virginity and stupidly getting her pregnant.

Peter, Garrett and Emmett are hooting like dogs, and somehow, I feel sick again. Rosalie swiftly smacks the back of Emmett's head, which shuts him up.

"So I guess we'll get all the gory details on a guys' night out," Garrett fake-whispers.

"Are all men perv?" Alice scoffs.

"Well, Eddie here seem to be the only gentleman left," Kate replies pointing at me.

And now all eyes are on me. I roll my eyes at Kate, feeling nervous suddenly.

Emmett makes another crude remark but I'm not paying attention anymore, because at the same time, Bella snorts at Katy's statement. I turn and my eyes meet her cold ones. The others are still talking as we stare at each other in silence. There's that usual melancholia in my wife's eyes that always makes me feel guilty. But today, there's something else too. Anger or hurt. I'm not sure.

"So no long-term girlfriend, Jazzy?" Rose asks with a soft, caring voice. "Don't you want to settle down?"

I look away from Bella and stare once again at my empty bottle.

"Ugh, yeah, I think I might be done with the one-night stand. But, uhm,…"

Jasper seems really on edge suddenly, his voice lower than usual.

"Oh my god, did you meet somebody? Is that why you came back, so we can meet her?" Rosie exclaims with enthusiasm.

"Uhm, no, yes…It's complicated…" He looks panicked. "Damn, I wasn't going to do this like that, but I guess why not? There's never a right time to say something like that, right? And, you guys are my best friends. We're like family, right?" Jasper babbles nervously.

I peek to watch him and I can't stop from feeling nervous. My hands feel sweaty again. I fear what he's going to say. My chest constricts at the thought that he is with somebody.

He leans forward, his elbows firmly placed on his thighs. He clasps his hands together, rubbing them, and scans the people around. My eyes take him in completely, and allow myself to appreciate his strong jaw, and the curve of his mouth. He always looks so good, no matter what. He licks his pink lips with apprehension, and my body twitches involuntarily.

Everybody is waiting for Jasper to continue talking, and the room is completely quiet. His eyes meet mine momentarily, worry etching in his deep blue orbs.

"Well, uhm, no Rosie, I don't have a girlfriend. And the truth is, I don't want one. At all. But I do hope to settle one day, with, uhm, with… not with a woman."

They are small gasps from our friends and he scans the room anxiously. At last his eyes meet mine. This time, I don't look away. I stare. I glare. I try to find answers in his gaze.

There's a heavy silence in the room. And I can hear my own heart hammering frantically. I can't believe the words. I can't believe that everything I've been feeling for so long is actually real, that I didn't imagine it all, for all these years. And I feel everything swirling in front of me. I realize I'm breathing too fast. I'm hyperventilating.

His words change everything.

Jasper is edgy and start looking around again, to his sister, and his best friends.

"Can somebody please say something?" Jasper pleads.

"Are you saying you're gay?" Emmett pronounces his words slowly, with stupor.

Jasper nods faintly and looks at his sister. Her eyes are shimmering with unshed tears.

I remember the only time I ever confessed my own sexuality. The thrill and the fear. It was to him; to Jasper. The only person that mattered. And he calmly told me that I could chose not to be. That it would be dumb to chose a hard life, with so many people hating you. He told me that I should try girls and that I would realize that they can make me feel really good too. He told me to go out with Bella since she had this huge crush on me. He promised me that I would be happy.

I hate him for the deception.

"Oh Jazzie," his sister finally utters. Rose closes the gap between her brother and herself, and hugs him tightly.

"I love you, Jaz. I… I can't believe you waited so long to share this with me, with us."

Peter leans forward and taps him on the shoulder. "This is a relief, dude. I worried that you were still holding a grudge against me for stealing Alice from you," he teases, lightening the atmosphere easily.

"Please! It was a relief to not have a girlfriend anymore!" Jasper says with a small smile, seeming calmer than a minute ago.

Alice gasps and leans forward to swap Jasper's leg. "How dare, Jazzy, I was never a burden!" Peter laughs, and everybody joins in, including Alice and Jasper.

Too much is happening around me and I feel like I'm having an overdose of emotions. My brain is stuck on repeat: Jasper is gay. Jasper is gay. Jasper is gay.

Maybe I should be happy. But I'm mad. I'm livid. Because I knew I was gay in high school, and he told me to not act on it, to ignore it and to go with Bella.

And now he comes out.

My hands clench together and, suddenly, I feel a delicate hand squeezing mine. I look to the side and my wife is watching me with pity and care. And I know that she knows. I finally realize that she must've always known, or at least suspected. I feel horrible for the pain I've caused her. I hate myself even more. I thought I was able to fool her, to pretend well enough that we were a happy family. But tonight, I can see how wrong I was.

I pull away from her, not able to take her pity and her affection. I hurry out of the room and lock myself in the bathroom. I look pale and frightened. I splash some cold water on my face and take a few long breaths, trying to slower my heartbeat.

I can't help but revisit all of my memories of him. The way we were both so good at avoiding each other, the way we never created a friendship outside of the group, and all because the pull I felt towards him was too scary. And then I remember all the little instances when we did talk and how I admired his wit and his wisdom, and how the conversation always seemed to flow so easily. And the way his smile for me always seemed different than for the others. And all the summers when I was granted sight of his bare chest at the beach, able to ogle all I wanted behind my sunglasses. And I can still name each time I touched him in these past years, when we were forced to be next to each other against our resolve: an arm, an elbow, a thigh. It seems like there always was a part of me that managed to rub against his body. And these magical car rides when my leg pressed against his because we were four sitting in the back seats. And I remember clearly the warmth that I felt every time his body touched mine, even if it was faint or for a sole second. And that one time, at that party senior year, when I was too drunk, and I managed to get myself flushed against him, feeling his whole body against mine for the first and last time. And the way I knew he felt my excitement down below because his eyes changed color. I can still remember the glances, and the lingering eyes from afar, and how I was never able to look away from his feral ones, but never acted on them either.

After splashing some more water, I go to the kitchen to find something stronger to drink. I freeze momentarily when I notice Bella standing by the counter, drinking directly from the whiskey bottle that Jasper had earlier. She winces back after swallowing, and I almost want to giggle at that. She looks up and sees me. Her eyes shine too brightly and I want to tell her that I'm sorry. But I don't say anything. She pushes the bottle toward me, inviting me silently to join her. I walk closer and take it from her. I swallow the burning liquor, enjoying the fire that takes over my throat and chest, scorching away this tightness inside.

And then I finally look back at my wife.

"You're okay?" I ask nervously.

She nods, but her eyes are void of emotions.

"You're in love with someone else." She states in a decisive voice, and I feel my insides drop dramatically. She looks back at me with determination, a swirl of different emotions battling inside her beautiful chocolate eyes.

I can't lie to her anymore so I nod, speechless.

I take another shot of whiskey, feeling shaky and weak, before passing her the bottle again. She takes it back and drinks one more sip before putting the bottle on the counter.

"I'm -" I start again, but she shakes her head firmly, stopping me before I can apologize.

I stare at her, sadness taking over me at how small she looks. She doesn't look at me, and it hurts me.

"I love you," I say softly to her. "I really do."

"I know." She whispers in a shaky voice. "But it's not enough. It's not the way you should love your wife," she whispers, her voice breaking.

"I never wanted to deceive you." I vow desperately.

A tear rolls down her cheek and my heart breaks. I approach her but she stops me. So I just stand near her, but not close enough to console her, and I stare at her, lost and scared.

"I love Nessie." I struggle to say, suddenly afraid of what will happen now. I can't lose my daughter.

"I know. She loves you too."

My heart squeezes with anguish. I'm afraid of what this means for my Nessie.

Bella looks up at me, full of grief.

"You're the best father I could wish for Nessie," she chokes out, more tears flowing down her face.

I can't stand seeing her like this. I close the gap quickly and wrap my arms around her. She lets herself be enveloped into my embrace and burrows her face into my chest. I let my head nestle on top of her hair, and I inhale the comforting smell of my best friend.

"What…" I start asking, but too afraid to finish my sentence.

She shakes her head and finally looks at me, her wet eyes searching mine.

"I… I don't know, Eddie. I just don't know anything right now." She whimpers.

My throat is tight with grief. I nod and quickly look down, feeling my eyes water. I swallow hard and look back at her.

"Let's… Let's just get this evening over with, and then we'll think more about… about us. Okay?" she asks.

I hold her a little longer and then she untangles herself from me. She washes her face at the kitchen sink. She gives me a tiny smile and then we both head back to the living room.

"You better not have had sex in my house!" Rosalie yells at us when we get back to our seats, our face flushed because of the crying.

"Oh please, these two barely have sex twice a year!" Kate laughs.

My stomach flips at her words, because it's the truth.

"Shut up, Kay!" I hiss, still too upset to deal with anything.

Bella is quiet next to me as we settle back in our seats. It's obvious something is wrong.

Suddenly, Rose burst out angry. " I swear to god, Ed, if you're angry because of Jay being gay, I'll kick your sorry ass so hard you won't be able to sit EVER again."

My eyes are wide and my mouth must be open with shock. I stare and everybody else is glaring at me, angry as well. Em actually scares me a little.

"Rose, please, stop," Jasper begs quietly.

"No, Jaz, it's not okay for him to be acting like that! He just walks away while you open your heart to us, and then comes back with a sour face. I won't let anybody disrespect my baby brother!" she exclaims loudly.

"I know you never liked him, Eddie. Calling him Jasper instead of his nickname, just to show disdain. Refusing to sit next to him. And that time when you guys had to share a tent and you made a hissy fit. We all know how you feel about him."

"Rose! Stop it," Jasper orders louder.

I stand up, more than aggravated, my fists clenched, and my insides shaking with anger and frustration. Everything she says is true, and yet she got it completely wrong.

"You don't know shit, Rosie!" I yell. "And I'm not a fucking bigot!"

I storm out and find myself in the kitchen once again. I punch the counter forcefully and then hold on to it for dear life. My head falls down and I start to sob. Finally. I let it all out.

I hear steps approaching and I quickly dry my face. I know it's him without turning around. I recognize his scent and I know exactly how my body responds to his proximity.

"Are you okay?" he whispers, worry coating his voice.

"Leave me alone," I demand.

He comes closer and I shiver.

"Edward… I'm sorry."

I spin around and stare at him. He looks as sad as me.

"What are you sorry about?" I ask. My voice is harsher than I intend.

He flinches at my tone and purses his lips with remorse. My body instantly reacts to the gesture.

"For everything, Edward. I'm sorry for everything." He sounds so desperate and vulnerable. Not anything like his usual self.

"I was an ass, okay. I didn't want to be gay. It scared the shit out of me. I thought that if I could make you be straight, than I could too."

"So what? You decided to make me your guinea pig!"

"You didn't have to listen to me, Edward."

We stare at each other, both pained and hurt. I don't move and he doesn't either.

The feeling of his eyes on me softens me unintentionally, and suddenly, there's only regret and pain left inside.

"It's not fair," I whisper, my voice weak with sorrow.

His whole body seems to sag. His eyes shine with remorse. He takes a step towards me, slowly. And then he takes another one when he realizes I'm not running away.

"Edward," he breathes with difficulty.

My eyes close involuntarily as tingles spread through my body. And then he's moving again. His finger traces the dried tears under my eyes gently and then he kisses my closed eyelids so softly it feels like feathers. My eyes snap open at the movement and we're staring once again. He's leaning further and I feel his warmth all over. We're technically still not touching but every fiber of my being senses him because he's so close now. His hands are on each side of me, holding on to the counter behind me. I'm enclosed between his arms and I never want to be anywhere else.

He's waiting, his eyes searching for some kind of consent or something. I can hardly think straight and all I know is that Jasper was gone for so long, and that I've wanted him since eighth grade, and that now he's back and he's so close to me, looking at me as if he feels exactly the way I do.

My hands tightly fist his black shirt on each side of his waist, and at the same time, my forehead tilts to rest against his. He makes a low sound that resonates through me, and I pull him forth gently. I wrap my arms around his shoulders, and his hands let go of the counter to come around my waist as we hug each other tightly.

We're both out of breath as if we've been running, even though we're barely moving

"I've missed you," I murmur into him, our lips nearly grazing.

His eyelashes tickle me as his eyes flutter shut. He licks his tempting lips and I can almost feel his tongue brushing my own lips.

I feel wetness on his face and realize that he's crying. I squeeze him tighter and burry my face into him, breathing him in. I feel his arms holding stronger against me as well.

"JAZZY! Come over here. We want to hear you play something!" Alice and Kate scream at the same time from the other room, successfully breaking our moment.

I let go of him immediately and he steps back just in time, quickly erasing his sole tear on his cheek.

Alice is barging into the kitchen and then grabs Jasper by the arm, urging him to follow her. His eyes flicker back to me and I give him a small smile. His face lightens up and he smiles back at me.

When my heart slows to a more normal speed, I walk back to the living room. Jasper is sitting on my chair, guitar in hand, stroking the chords absent-mindedly. His semi-long strands hang in front of his face, and I have an urge to tuck them back.

All the boys are sitting on the couch while the girls are surrounding Jasper.

"Jazz, just sing whatever you want," Kate implores, impatient.

As he starts, I approach and sit on the arm of the couch, next to Emmett. Rose's gives me a dirty look but I ignore her. I'm mesmerized by Jasper's fingers as they move with such precision. He licks his lips and starts to sing in a deep, raspy voice.

"_I wish I could tell you. But the words would come out wrong. Oh if you only knew. The way I felt for so long"_

In an instant, I feel warm on the inside. I'm surprised by how real my love for him still is after all these year. His voice teases and taunts me. His gaze locks into mine just in time for him to sing "_The first time I caught a glimpse of you. Then my thoughts were only of you."_

My heart leaps and rushes along with the music. I faintly notice Bella glancing my way with a broken smile. But I can't look at her. I can't look anywhere but at Jasper. I feel transfixed.

When the song ends, the girls cheer and demand another song. I quickly stand and exit the room. The effect of his voice saying these things, with his dark eyes glued on me all along, is making my body ready to explode.

I hear him begin a new, lighter song as I reach the back door. I step into the cool night and take deep, long inhales. My heart and mind debate heatedly, my emotions swaying from anger to relief, and back to resentment.

I don't know how long I stay there, lost in thoughts, but eventually, the music fades away. And then I hear the door slide open. Two strong pair of arms wraps around my waist from behind and heat radiate along my back. I instinctively lean back against him. Jasper settles his chin on top of my shoulder. I enjoy the comfort of being safe in his arms, a gesture that does something sweet to my heart. He sighs and tightens his hold around me.

"This is really happening, right?" I ask softly, delicately caressing his arms, watching the stars above.

I feel him nod and nestle deeper into the crook between my neck and my shoulder.

"I love you, Edward. I always did."

As corny as it sounds, my heart swells with happiness.

"But you left."

He inhales my scent deeply before talking.

"Because I realized I was wrong, Edward. I thought that you could be with Bella, and that I wouldn't feel anything anymore for you. But it was worst. It was hell to hear that you were getting married and having a child with her."

My chest constricts and I feel my heart ache. I caused him pain and it hurts me to think about all the wrong decisions we've made.

"Why didn't you try to tell me then?"

His hug is firm and his body presses against my back, and I feel overheated and tingly. He lifts his head and his breath washes over my ear, enticing a fire to travel through my bones.

"Tell you what, Edward?" he whispers softly.

I twist in his tight embrace and face him. I put my arms around his neck, and my eyes hold his captive as I lean into him. I can see hope shine into his gaze as he stay fixated on me.

"That I'm yours. That I only belong with you." I whisper with passion, my breathing uneven and rough.

His gaze is feral. I'm lost in his eyes. The space between us sizzles with lust, and it's so strong I can almost hear the sparks. We stare at each other like animals prowl their prey. It's passionate and hungry.

I don't move and he doesn't either. And the fire between us intensifies and soars.

And suddenly everything moves fast. His hands grab my waist and he crashes his lips to mine. We kiss urgently. I moan into his mouth. The sensation of our bodies flushed together, his hands all over me, and his sweet lips intertwined with mine, is so good. My hands tangle into his hair. His hands squeeze my behind. And we both kiss with more fervor. It's unbelievable how every hair and nerve in my body lights up, a bundle of sparks warming me up from the inside out.

Even after years and years of fancying his lips on me, of dreaming of our first kiss, nothing compared to this. It is better than anything I've imagined. The way my body feels right now, as his lips nip and lick mine, is something that I've never felt before. The reaction that I have is so new and so fresh and so good. I didn't even know these sensations existed.

And I realize that there's no real debate between my heart and mind. Because my heart will always win. I love Jasper, and no matter how long it takes him, no matter how many mistakes we make, I will always be waiting for him.

_So since this is my first attempt at a one shot, and I kind of struggled with it, I would really appreciate your feedback. Please, pretty please..._


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